Live Your Day with Purpose, Discipline, and Focus

I sent a text to say hello but didn’t hear back. I didn’t question why at first because everyone gets so many texts, and we typically connected a few times each year. I thought maybe she missed it. So, I sent another text and heard nothing.

A few weeks later, I decided to google her name to see if there was anything new. Unfortunately, there was. I saw the words obituary. At that moment, my mouth dropped, and I was shocked and sad. The tears flowed down my face. Feelings of love, fear, sadness, and questions about why and how passed through my mind.

It was painful to find out in the way I did. I was struggling. I started looking up work we had done together. Our personalities and experiences were completely different, but we created a special bond.

I wish I could have talked to her one more time. Instead, she would be in my heart, and I will always remember her for helping me create change. I couldn’t imagine what her family and friends were going through when they found out. I am forever grateful for her and want to share some of my experiences with you.

Kimyon Zari was my first coach who inspired me to believe that dreams are achievable. I knew my presence made a difference in her life as she began her coaching career, and I am bringing it forward to my clients

I smiled, knowing how much I had grown since we started working together. I remembered her words. She called me Coach B, which meant a lot, inspired me, and made me smile. One of my other favorites is “I was one of her most successful coaching clients.” We experienced a remarkable bond that I will forever treasure. Her spirit is still here and alive. I’m thankful that I told her how grateful I was and how much she changed my life.

Making a difference and giving back to others, just like coaching did for me is part of my purpose and mission now.  I had no idea how coaching could change a person’s life when I met Kimyon in 2009 at a networking event. We had an 8-minute conversation. I had a good feeling inside, feeling the positive energy as a smile came to my face.

One of our discussions on a coaching call led me to decide it was time to invest in self-care and my well-being. After a follow-up conversation, I hired Kimyon. She opened my world to new experiences, including reading segments of books.  I would see different lifestyles, which intrigued me. One homework assignment she gave me that was challenging but so impactful was to write my own eulogy. Her sessions were powerful and informative, yet we had a lot of laughs and fun together during our Monday night 10:00 PM coaching sessions. Not many coaches would coach that late. However, it worked for us. She found ways to share something to inspire and keep me motivated in my personal growth. Kimyon was a woman of deep faith. She mentioned spirit, and I asked what is spirit? Would you teach me? Through my well-being journey, I learned and am most grateful for that moment.

Do you ever hold things inside to help numb the pain? It’s taken a long time for me to get there, but I finally learned that it’s OK to cry when you are sad. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. In fact, it’s a sign of strength to allow yourself to become vulnerable. When you don’t stay in a dark place and drown yourself with sorrow, you give yourself permission to move past the pain and heal. It took losing my mom in 97 and then my dad passing in 2016 to open my heart enough to truly understand that it’s better to be gentle with yourself and process, not numb your feelings. Kimyon would constantly remind me to enjoy and live life today. We don’t know about tomorrow.

I learned life is precious. Kimyon was a strong woman who dealt with medical conditions at a young age. She found a way to get through her challenges with so much love, family, and her friends. She was a teacher, making a difference in their lives, not only a coach. All looked up to her and were wiser for her presence in their lives.  Kimyon will always have a special place in my heart.

Accepting that the end of life is near can be challenging and brings up many feelings of fear. But, of course, there will be times when you won’t know the right thing to do or what to say. I have certainly had moments where I stumbled over words while searching for the ones that would fully capture my range of emotions and feelings.

After finding out what happened, I reached out to her daughter and shared my condolences. I could only imagine what she and her brother felt. I continued processing my own feelings when I found her celebration of life on Google and watched the service feeling all the warmth and love that touched my heart. It’s not easy to lose someone who made such an impact on my life.

Losing someone you love is not easy, and I will forever be thankful for those moments we experienced together. I listened to a meditation called “Akal” to Honor the Departed by Snatam Kaur. If you lost someone special or are now experiencing someone at the end of their life, may you find comfort and inner peace through this guided meditation.

The celebration of life service helped me with closure, and I shared it with my family and my present coach. Kimyon was working on a book to share with the world, and I know she was close. I am inspired to make sure I complete my next book. This is the sign I needed and will honor Kimyon. Journey to Wealth was published in 2014 because of the nudge by my boss/mentor Gerald Appel, He said that my eBook wasn’t enough; he wanted me to hand him a book.  Now I’m called to complete my well-being book in honor of Kimyon.  Coaching gives me joy and happiness. I’m in gratitude knowing I have the support of my coach for over a decade, Sheri Kaye Hoff to make the book a reality.

Being kind to yourself has its rewards.

The spirit moved me, and so I share my poem with all of you.

In Memory of Kimyon Zari
By Bonnie Gortler

Kimyon is a generous, kind, honest, brilliant woman

Who supported everyone the best she can

I was her first client, and she was my first coach who inspired me,

Kimyon had a heart of a diamond everyone could see

In 2009 the journey began

Where there is a will, there is a way, if you believe you can

Kimyon knew how to make everyone laugh and smile

Constantly giving and going the extra mile

Dedicated, loyal, living each day

Kimyons’s strength, intuition, and support will be here to stay.

Kimyon will be remembered forever

The love she shared of life don’t forget to treasure

May her friends and family be comforted now

With gratitude, appreciation, and PURE LOVE is how

Her legacy and spirit go on after today

Kimyon Zari, you forever are in all of our hearts each day.

It’s not easy letting go of someone. I’m comforted knowing that our times together remind me to go after new beginnings, opportunities, and new possibilities in life. Kimyon would want me to remember and inspire others to enjoy life and cherish times with your family and friends. Go for your dreams, take care of yourself, at the same time share your kindness and make a difference in your life and others.

What is a coach?

A coach provides a sounding board that helps you get clear on your priorities, encouraging you to soar, and is a worthwhile investment. You are motivated as you break your challenges into parts and handle them one at a time.  A good coach keeps you accountable, challenges you, and creates favorable conditions to help you let go of your past and believe that you can accomplish what you desire.

Motivation tips to set yourself up for success.

• Set clear and realistic goals
• Develop and maintain a positive attitude
• Track your progress
• Be kind and patient with yourself.
• Do what you love and is fun for you.

Life is what you make of it. Nothing meaningful happens by itself. To reach your goals, it’s up to you to spend time and effort to grow. It’s possible for you. You can do it if you want, but don’t hold yourself back or stand in your way. Be open to change. A great lesson to learn is YOU can help yourself. You are in control of your decisions and the actions you take.

It’s normal to feel fear but decide to do it anyway. Move through your fear and do the action. You can make something happen today. Break your goals into small steps and take the first step right away. Don’t procrastinate when faced with a complex problem. Instead, ask yourself how you can make it simple. What action can you take right away? The longer you wait, the longer it takes. I know this to be true. I struggle with resistance, but I have overcome many things because I didn’t give up. I kept showing up and kept going, precisely what I recommend for you.

If you like this article you will love my Free eBook Growth Your Wealth and Well Being Get it here

Bonnie S. Gortler

Bonnie Gortler, Consultant, Coach, and Author specializing in Wealth and Well-Being, is a successful stock market expert who has been instrumental in managing multi-million-dollar client portfolios within a top-rated investment firm during her over 35-year corporate career. As the author of “Journey to Wealth,” Bonnie has made it her mission to share the importance of risk management and how to enjoy real financial well-being by applying the technical and mental sides of investing. Bonnie has an M.B.A. and is a certified life coach. It is through her love of coaching, consulting, blogging, and social media that she creates change in the lives of many and inspires people from around the world. Bonnie is fully committed to your personal growth and development as she shares her winning spirit and powerful techniques with you. Visit BonnieGortler.com to gain tips and insights about investing, personal development, and inspiration through her articles on Wealth and Well-Being.
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